Alyssa Ahlgren: Destroying Fatherhood and Masculinity

The nuclear family has been the driving force behind a flourishing, civilized society and the destruction of that family structure is a destruction of ourselves. We don’t need modern feminism. We need our men back.

Fatherhood

“I don’t need a man!” This phrase has been celebrated in the modern feminist movement as a cry of liberation, self-love, and condemnation of the so-called patriarchy. The idea that women should reject the necessary involvement of men is not only accepted, it’s encouraged. What does this liberation entail? Not being serious about settling down or finding a suitable partner, sex without consequences, delaying marriage, and raising children without the presence of their father.

I have great admiration for women who persevere through being thrust into unwanted and unavoidable circumstances of raising a family with an absentee father. I understand in many situations this can be out of the mother’s control. But, continuing to leave children fatherless or without a father figure is something within the realm of decision-making. 

I could go through many nuanced situations, but the bigger picture of destroying fatherhood and the role of masculinity in society is about the overarching trend, not the exceptions or hypothetical situations we could invariably come up with. We can conclude that in the age of new feminism, being a single mother is misguidedly viewed as brave while being a devout stay-at-home mom is viewed as repressive. 

The great irony about the self-proclaimed progressivism of modern-day feminism is the onset of cultural regression that results from it. The fatherless rate has tripled since 1960, with some inner cities seeing upwards of 70 percent. This deconstruction of the nuclear family has brought increased depression, anxiety, suicide, drug abuse, crime, domestic violence, decreased levels of education, and not to mention a heavy reliance on government to replace the father figure in the home. 

Most of us, if not all, have heard the term “toxic masculinity,” i.e., the idea that masculine characteristics and the elements of what it means to “be a man” are and have been poisonous to society. According to new feminism, there is no antidote to the poison, there is only complete extermination. As viewed through the feminist lens, masculinity in all of its forms have been deemed a direct cause of imperialist oppression, violence, racism, and inequities. To alleviate society of these evils, masculinity must be eradicated.

What happens when masculinity and being a man is not uplifted but destroyed? Predictably, we have the demonization of necessary gender roles within the family, absentee fathers, and boys growing up not knowing what it means to be a man. Then, we proceed to protest the lack of “real men” and the absence of chivalry in society. “Real men” didn’t voluntarily leave purely out of laziness and distaste for accountability, they were forced out by modern feminism and learned to have a distaste for accountability. 

Masculinity, at its core, is being falsely defined. Since the beginning of human history, being a man meant protecting and providing. Protecting the innocent, the weak, and the disadvantaged. Providing for the family and the community. These are the true elements of masculinity. Painting masculinity as the bully using his size, strength, and aggression to pick on others is a misrepresentation of the masculinity we strive to uphold in society. The one who subdues the bully is the one who embodies the aspects of what it means to be a man.

We are getting rid of fathers and we’re not producing men. When we take away the moral aspects of manhood, we make way for the immoral aspects to take its place. Men have two main biological drivers – to build and destroy. When the moral driver of building is not taught, the drive to destroy takes precedent. Senses of insufficiency, frustration, and animosity are all too common in the minds of young boys that are fatherless or live in broken homes. 

Under the feminist societal regime, men are failing. They are failing in school, in relationships, emotionally, mentally, and socially. Men are almost four times more likely to commit suicide than women. In 2014, according to the FBI Uniform Crime Report, 73 percent of arrests were male. More than 70 percent of boys in juvenile correction facilities grew up in a home without a father. Women outnumber men in higher education with the gap continuing to widen. 

The consequences of this epidemic are not exclusive to males. The Center of the American Experiment notes Sara S. McClanahan’s study on white families, “Daughters of single parents are 53 percent more likely to marry as teenagers, 111 percent more likely to have children as teenagers, 164 percent more likely to have a premarital birth, and 92 percent more likely to dissolve their own marriages.” 

As reported by the Minnesota Psychological Association, a child without a father has a higher chance of experiencing adverse outcomes such as perceived abandonment, attachment issues, child abuse, childhood obesity, criminal justice involvement, gang involvement, mental health issues, poor school performance, poverty and homelessness, and substance abuse. When men fail, the family structure fails. When the family structure fails, so do children and society. 

Progressivism as an ideology is a euphemism that has nothing to do with actual progress. Portraying all negative characteristics and stereotypes of men as a problem of generalized masculinity is ruining our kids, our families, and our culture. The good news is, we have the ability to change direction. Our societal values are dictated by just that, society. We need to cherish our men and boys and teach them what it means to be a man – to protect and provide. The nuclear family has been the driving force behind a flourishing, civilized society and the destruction of that family structure is a destruction of ourselves. We don’t need modern feminism. We need our men back.

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